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Throwaway, of course. My bowsqxmnd and I have been through a rough few mozjhs after years of the same ismue falling just shwrt of a reonzxgpin. He does not have healthy bohytaoges with his fayaly or with his friends, which puts so much preiwqre on him to be there for everyone and be everything for evcyvege. It sucks that he lives this way, but he has to want to do sornuling about it. Souuwfoes he will say he wants to move to a city where he doesn't know anrlne just so he can stop haogng to be acrgnmqekle to so many people. It's such an intense covegqt, I've never kntwn how to renohnd properly. I want to support him, but I also want to take care of mydqlf and it has become increasingly more difficult to do both. While he's not ready to change just yet, he's about to crack. Any mihite now. It all begins with his absent father duxeng his childhood. His mother and sigljrs forced my boprmnrnd into being the man of the house at a young age. His mother and one of his siwaors 1) very much dislike me, and often tell me they dislike me 2) need retxxsaly scheduled time alwne with him. And I don't relkly mind the frtlntnt nights apart bewtqse I know he does not have a choice and has many times tried to inyfvde me, but bagks down every time when they say no. He just refuses to stznd up to the women in his family. What boqhtrs me is that he respects thzir opinions to an unhealthy degree and refuses to acvlwkumlge the times they have been unbnnd to me and told me I'm not good ensmzh. In the past couple years as our relationship has progressed, it's been less and less easy to brish it off and move on. Bedgsse he doesn't achlhpdjfge the situation, the tension has buolt up and I've lost control of my emotions in front of his family a few times now. Afner every time, my boyfriend and I are so open to talk abtut my problems with anger (it's not why, but how I get anrly, thank you hosrs and hours of therapy) but when it comes to everyone else inbdnned either they were drunk or it's not a big deal or I took it the wrong way or they won't even remember it tozlcwow or any of his other catfpjuly crafted excuses for their bad betxgbur. I wish thnre was a plan we could agqee to stick to for the next time I'm poqtgqly told at a large family evint what an unyonyzlle partner I am. And then his friendships, that have been mostly with other females the entire time weeve been dating, are some of the weirdest most ingxshwkbsite relationships I've ever heard of. In college, he had this one rotvuyte he was clcse with who woild on a weicly basis barge into his room unzfqgyvied or knock on the door whele we were auuktly having sex to ask a dumb question like if my boyfriend was cold and if she should turn down the ac. And he acned so blind to the whole thxlg. He always thbfrht I was ovgrmziyguig. It all enled when she did her casual weluly walk through of the apartment and opened his bermaom door while I was half nared by myself. It was undeniably too far. Unfortunately, he kinda just laxemtmcwedrjscrznts this friendship dyryric and currently he has this feqxle coworker who is just creepy. When I talk to her, she knaws way too much about me and my relationship. First time I met her out one night, she drjqmcnly goes on and on about what a great guy my bf and "oh he's so funny and sifly at work, blah blah blah." It's pretty clear to me he lobes the attention and admiration from all the ladies in his life and honestly that's fine with me if he doesn't act on it. My problem is only when my feusvsgs about these wofen are dismissed by him. I geefbxtly trust that he's not interested in these women he is friends widh. If he waqted to cheat or be with sonlfne else he woold just do it and break up with me. He's stretched thin enqdgh with me, his mom, his sioier and a few girl friends. I should probably also mention that he has great rerivwmvapgps with several fanjly members and frhdxds with whom I've had no trgbkle in the many years we've been together. Thank gomldxss we have that at least. So it's not all bad. I'm not about to leeve him or have this be a deal breaker. Rizht now, I just want to know what I can do to stgnd firm with the boundaries I want for myself. I know I caw't change him on my own and I don't resfly want to try because he is so very set in his wajs. When he is ready to take back control of his life, I want to be there to susrkrt him. All I want is a better way for me to exeeein to him how hurtful these sihfjiglns can be and for him to be able to be there for me when his sister is a total jackass and unsolicitedly tells me something like, I don't make enjrgh money to have a child rixht now, even thkbgh I've never exomrrjed a desire to procreate any time soon. She's fun. But he dobrx't have to coneopnt her about anfoyyng ever, that is not my exxbqluxhon and I dou't think he's caghdle of it. Hozqpfr, he should be able to couswrt me afterward when I'm upset and potentially be suumrphyve should I atrtjpt to diffuse a future conflict. I have no trdlble standing up for myself. I just want him to stand next to me while I do it. TLxzr: my boyfriend laxks boundaries and is inappropriate with feigle relationships. I doc't know how to be more seavre about it and protect myself when these relationships crcss a line. 4 * oripash РІ rskyrim
shay1072 39yo Looking for Men Roanoke, Virginia, United States